Colorado Mutilated Cattle Barbecued Ribs

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Method 1

 

You will need:

Surgical instruments or pumped-energy cutting beam

Cow

Large bowl

 

Directions

Working quickly and silently, immobilize the cow and remove all of the following:

eyes, udder, sexual organs, anus, tongue, lips, soft organs and one ear.

Remove the hide and flesh from the jaw and beneath the ear.

Place items in the bowl. Save for later use, whatever that may be.

 

Method 2

 

Ingredients

 

Beef short ribs – 6 lbs

Knife

Dutch Oven or large cast iron pan

Grill

Marinade
garlic – 4-6 cloves
garlic powder – 1 tsp
black peeper 1 -tsp
1-tablespoon salt
1-tablespoon dry mustard
1/4 tsp cayenne pepper
2-tablespoon  Anacho or Colorado ground pepper
2-tablespoon chipotle powder
thyme – pinch
1-tablespoon vinegar
1-tablespoon soy sauce
1/4 cup Barbecue sauce
8 oz apple juice

 

Directions

Mix marinade
Cut (score crisscross) or remove silver skin on bone side of ribs. Let marinate for 4 to 24 hours
Place on grill over very low heat. Add hard wood to grill and let meat smoke for at least 30 minutes.
Remove from grill.

Pour remainder of marinade and some Barbecue sauce over ribs (about quarter cup liquid)

Slow cook in tightly sealed Dutch oven at low heat (250F) for 4 hours. Drain.
Prepare ribs per recipe, arrange gruesomely on platter and serve

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