Qapla! Welcome to Alien Cuisine
The Volarians have a saying “Every meal a wake, every bite a funeral.” This dish was contributed by a Volarian subjugata visiting our restaurant on her pilgrimage to a votive funerary dinning festival on her home world. When she prepared the dish, she told us it was her sister, and her recipe. You will need the flesh of one relative (ancestors are best) preferably well aged, however any relative will do. Although Volarians see this as a welcome opportunity to honor esteemed relatives or be rid of annoying ones, you may substitute lamb, beef or pork (long or other variety) but no homage will be gained if a substitute is made. This version is completely legal in most of the galaxy; an opportunity lost.
1 pound protein
2 tablespoons roasted Sichuan chilies
6 chopped garlic
1 tablespoons minced ginger
1 tablespoons garlic powder
2 tablespoons hot pepper powder
1 tablespoons five spice powder
2 tablespoons cumin
1 tablespoons sea salt
1/2 cup peanut oil (or other high smoke oil)
1/4 cup sesame oil
1/2 cup black soy sauce
1/4 cup soy sauce
1/4 sweet rice vinegar
2 tablespoons black vinegar
chop garlic and ginger finely and mix with dry ingredients.
Add enough of the mixture to cover protein. Marinate at least one hour
Noodle dough directions:
1. Combine 2 cups of all purpose flour with ¾ cup water, ½ teaspoon salt, and 1 tablespoon of vegetable oil in a large bowl. Knead by hand for 15 minutes until the dough gets softer and sticks together firmly.
2. Roll the dough out into a large rectangular shape
3. Flour the face of the dough and fold over length wise. You should have a long narrow strip of dough. Pinch the seam to close it.
4. Cut the dough across its length into one inch 1 1/2 sections.
5. Put the dough into a plastic bag and keep it in the refrigerator.
1. Bring a large pot of water to a boil
2. Take a dough section and hold the ends in each hand
3. Pull and stretch it between both hands. The dough should be stretched between your left hand and right like a string. It should be about 1 inch wide.
4. Moving your hands up and down slap the dough on the counter until it stretches out. It should stretch to about 30 inches
5. The dough should look like a limp rubber band; using your fingers separate the dough into a loop
6. Drop it into the boiling water. Repeat this until the dough runs out.
7. Boil for a few more minutes to cook the dough
8. Remove enough noodles for one serving and place in a bowl Stir-fry the marinated ingredients (including marinade liquid. There should be plenty) until the meat is cooked
Add the following and continue cooking for a minute:
1 cup chopped scallion (reserve some for garnish) bean sprouts, thinly sliced red onion
Add to the noodles with some cooking liquid. Garnish with green onion.
You can substitute commercial Egg Roll Wrappers and slice them into 1-1/2 inch strips and cook quickly (2 minutes) in simmering water or stock.